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CHEM 3123 Organic Chemistry (BA): Just For Fun

Chemistry Jokes

Q: What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A: A one molar solution.

Q: How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate?
A: A sulfone

Q: Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements?
A: Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!

Q: Why did the noble gas cry?
A: Because all his friends argon.

Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!

Q: Why can you never trust atoms?
A: They make up everything!

Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.

Q: How many moles are in a guacamole?
A: Avocado's number.

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.

Q: Why did Chlorine's sisters Boron and Carbon lock her in the closet?
A: Because she was too attractive!

Q: Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about Helium?
A: He just couldn't put it down.

Q: What is a chemist's favorite kind of tree?
A: A chemistree

Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met.

Q: Why did the white furry bear dissolve in water?
A: Because it was polar.

Q: What do dipoles say in passing?
A: "Have you got a moment?"

Q: What do you call a periodic table with gold missing?
A: "Au revoir"

Q: How did the chemist survive the famine?
A: By subsisting on titrations.

Q: What element is derived from a Norse god?
A: Thorium.

Q: What do you do with a dead chemists?
A: Barium

Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe

Q: What did the chemist snack on during lunch?
A: A 'gram' cracker.

Q: What would you call a clown in jail?
A: Silicon (Silly Con)

Q: What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron?
A: A KNiFe.

Q: How did carbon propose to Hydrogen?
A: With a "carbonkneel"

Q: What did one titration tell the other?
A: Let's meet at the endpoint.

Q: How can you spot a chemist in the restroom?
A: They wash their hands before they go.

Q: Why are chemists great for solving problems?
A: They have all the solutions.

Q: Anyone know any jokes about sodium?
A: Na

Q: Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
A: Because it's basic material.

Q: What is a cation afraid of?
A: A dogion.

Q: What did the Cowboy Chemist tell his horse?
A: HIO Ag!

Q: What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?
A: Methylated spirits.

Q: If H20 is water what is H204?
A: Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming. . .

Q: According to a chemist, why is the world so diverse?
A: Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry?
A: Never lick the spoon!

Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.

Q: What did the chemist say when he found two new isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.

Q: What's wrong with a joke involving Cobalt, Radon, and Ytterium?
A: its CoRn Y

Q: What do you get when you combine samarium, argon, tellurium, asenic, and sulfur?
A: SmArTe AsS

Q: What is it called when Queen of England farts?
A: A noble gas

Q: How did the blonde define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam?
A: Fear of utility bills.

Q: What fruit contains Barium and double Sodium?
A: BaNaNa!

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.

Q: What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?
A: Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe

Q: Why is potassium a racist element?
A: Because, when you put three of them together, you get KKK.

Q: Do I know the molecular formula for sodium hydride?
A: NaH.

Q: Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together?
A: OMg!

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!

Essential "Element(s)" for Academic Success

There are four essential elements you need to be successful in your academic career:

  • Lithium
  • Bromine
  • Argon
  • Yttrium

Pu them all together and you get

Li Br Ar Y!

Some Laboratory Humor

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