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ENGL 1113 English Composition (TCC): Just For Fun

English Jokes

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"A chicken runs into a library, goes to the main desk and says, ‘Book, bok, bok, boook.’ The librarian hands the chicken a book and it tucks it under its wing and runs out. A while later, the chicken runs back in, throws the book on the desk and says, ‘Book, bok, bok, bok, boook.’ Again the librarian gives it a book, and the chicken runs out with it. A few minutes later the chicken is back, and returns the book saying, ‘Boook, book, bok, bok, boook.’ The librarian gives the chicken a third book, but this time follows it as it runs out. The chicken runs down the street, through a park and down to the river where a frog is sitting on the bank. The chicken holds up the book to the frog, saying, ‘Book, bok, bok, boook’. The frog replies, ‘Read-it, read-it, read-it…’ "

A man walks into a book shop and says, ‘Can I have a book by Shakespeare?’ ‘Of course, sir,’ says the salesman. ‘Which one?’ The man replies, ‘William.’

A young man professed a desire to become a great writer. When asked to define ‘great’ he said, ‘I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!’ He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

How many screenwriters does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer:  Ten.
1st draft.  Hero changes light bulb.
2nd draft.  Villain changes light bulb.
3rd draft.  Hero stops villain from changing light bulb.  Villain falls to death.
4th draft.  Lose the light bulb.
5th draft.  Light bulb back in.  Fluorescent instead of tungsten.
6th draft.  Villain breaks bulb, uses it to kill hero's mentor.
7th draft.  Fluorescent not working.  Back to tungsten.
8th draft.  Hero forces villain to eat light bulb.
9th draft.  Hero laments loss of light bulb.  Doesn't change it.
10th draft.  Hero changes light bulb.


English/Literature Humor


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Jennifer Campbell
NSU BA Campus
Library Rm. 135